Friday, October 22, 2010

My Wish List.... I don't want it all... I just want to be happy

Ok… ok.. I haven’t blogged in a while …. Maybe a year actually but I was getting too caught up in my I took a break, lol... but after hearing about creating a list of 100 things you want in a mate a few weeks ago…ironically by someone I so happened to be attracted to I finally decided on Monday to make my own list.

Wow…a list huh? I wasn’t sure where to begin or what those 100 things should be… was I to get superficial? Tall, Dark, Handsome… or get deep? Church going man, Loves to read, great at algorithms?? Hmmmmm… I was perplexed …. Did creating this list mean that I was officially searching for the man for me?

So I decided to just make a list of the things I knew were important to me… if it totaled 100 great, if not so what? I sat down and I began to write – I didn’t even number them I just jotted down the things I knew would make me happy should I find them all in one person and frankly if he has most of the qualities I’d be good.

Last night I went to bed not feeling so happy and I decided to take a break from the outside world today and think about what I wanted to do with my life and what makes me happy …. Conclusion at end of the day: You can’t rely on others to make you happy or you’ll constantly end up disappointed.

So while I don’t advocate losing yourself in someone else, nor expecting perfection (it DOES NOT exist) I do believe that if the person you’re with doesn’t treat you as if your worthwhile or worth his/her time you’ll never have a healthy, happy relationship.

With that said *insert drum roll* here’s my list of things I hope to find in My Man (and yes I’ll now number them - they aren't in order just how they came to me):

  1. Funny – HAS to make me laugh
  2. Able to hold an intelligent conversation – beyond cars, sex & sports
  3. Ambitious – A go-getter is vital
  4. Confident – there’s nothing sexier…well….
  5. Smart – intelligence is a must
  6. Family Values – moral & social values are essential
  7. Respectful - *shakes a tambourine*
  8. Honest – please don’t lie to me
  9. Sexy – just the way he carries himself
  10. Witty – this is different from funny – he’s gotta be able to be quick and inventive
  11. Ability to Flex – has to be able to hang at a corporate function then roll to a dance
  12. Employed – oh yea has to have a J O B
  13. Loves me for who/as I am - Need I say more?
  14. Great Friends – his TRUE friends have to have substance
  15. Believes in God – No atheists need apply
  16. Supportive – has to have my back
  17. Sensitive yet firm – in touch w/his feelings but don’t want to be able to walk all over him
  18. Understanding – has to be able to relate
  19. Reassuring – Able to remove any doubts I have w/a look, touch or a word
  20. Stylish - gotta be able to put himself together
  21. Loving – words or actions
  22. Loves his mother/family – must be a family man
  23. Sensual – mmmhmmmm
  24. Makes me feel like I am the only one – even if this aint true I shouldn’t feel that way
  25. Able to have fun – not uptight
  26. Great Father – no absentee daddy round here (whether he has children or plans to must want to be in his child/children’s life)
  27. Trusting – must let me in and believe in me/us
  28. My Best friend – this is CRITICAL
  29. Gives back of his time – must be involved or willing to be involved in charity work
  30. Kind – being friendly/considerate of others is paramount
  31. Not a womanizer – this one bag of woman thing cannot work
  32. Great Kisser - #nuffsaid
  33. Calls me vs texting/bbm all the time – I want to hear his voice…nothing beats a call NOTHING!
  34. Mature – I can’t abide childish men
  35. Available – This has multiple meanings … main one being I want to feel he’s there for me
  36. Makes time for me – just make an effort to spend time with me
  37. Able to manage money – I suck at this lol
  38. Compliments me – the little things mean so much
  39. Crazy about me like I am crazy about him – the lopsided thing cannot work
  40. Never makes me feel like an afterthought – this is self explanatory
  41. Wants a family – has to want children
  42. Not afraid of commitment …. And makes the steps towards that – no friends with benefits
  43. Doesn’t expect perfection – accepts my flaws
  44. Doesn’t belittle me or others – Not cool to put me or others down
  45. Not abusive (verbally/physically/emotionally) – Big NO NO
  46. Loves animals – must love animals
  47. Finds me sexy – MUST have chemistry
  48. Not selfish – being self-absorbed is extremely unattractive
  49. Able to say he's sorry - the ability to admit he's wrong
  50. Not judgmental – you’re NOT God
  51. Has my back – right or wrong I want to know I can turn to him
  52. Is there for me as much as I am there for him – no relationship is truly 50/50 but I can’t always be giving and getting nothing in return
  53. Enjoys my company – I don’t want to feel like you’d rather be somewhere else
  54. Communication - Open & Honest. Don't take me for a fool... I'm a big girl

So that’s it… wow 53 huh? Well not sure what happens next after you make this list but I can’t wait to see!

Well it's October 25th and this weekend brought #54 to mind - see above....


  1. T,
    I think I like this much, I think I'll be doing one soon. Wonder how far I will get...

  2. I like your list; it seems fair & well thought out. Thinking about doing my own thinking & list but I don't think I'll blog it...too shy about putting all of that out there. My twist to it would be to measure myself & see if, at this stage of my life, I'm able to give what I'm asking for. Hope you find the MAN for you that measures up!

  3. yeh now you got me wanting to write a list tplay! im gonna!

  4. Shiks - I think you should. I didn't think about getting to 100 i just started to list what I want. It's only after typing it up I realised I didn't even include looks... I'm dying to see what yours looks like.

    Cucumberjuice - I felt funny about posting this list as well but who cares? We are entitled to say/post/tweet what our desires are so whether it's a pint of Haggen Daaz or an ounce of respect it's ours to put out to the universe.

    Loni - Dweeeet. I'd love to see your list. Hurry up!

  5. So you go and make a list about the perfect man and then say he should accept your imperfection, haha, awesome.

  6. 54 Items. Whoa.

    I didn't read them all.

    My list is quite a bit shorter.

    Does she have a Job?
    Does she want kids?
    Does she NOT smoke?

  7. This is cool, gives an idea of some of the things most women are looking for. Just recognize no man will have all these traits together at all times, and realize if you want someone to be attracted to you like this, you have to be a reflection of that person

  8. A very fair list Tara. Sauntered by here from Twitter and will spend some time catching up on previous posts! I think I did a list like this about 5 yrs ago when I used to blog a lot ... lucky for me, I found the man of my dreams :) :)!!

  9. Keep up the fight against cancer