Ok… ok.. I haven’t blogged in a while …. Maybe a year actually but I was getting too caught up in my topics...so I took a break, lol... but after hearing about creating a list of 100 things you want in a mate a few weeks ago…ironically by someone I so happened to be attracted to I finally decided on Monday to make my own list.
Wow…a list huh? I wasn’t sure where to begin or what those 100 things should be… was I to get superficial? Tall, Dark, Handsome… or get deep? Church going man, Loves to read, great at algorithms?? Hmmmmm… I was perplexed …. Did creating this list mean that I was officially searching for the man for me?
So I decided to just make a list of the things I knew were important to me… if it totaled 100 great, if not so what? I sat down and I began to write – I didn’t even number them I just jotted down the things I knew would make me happy should I find them all in one person and frankly if he has most of the qualities I’d be good.
Last night I went to bed not feeling so happy and I decided to take a break from the outside world today and think about what I wanted to do with my life and what makes me happy …. Conclusion at end of the day: You can’t rely on others to make you happy or you’ll constantly end up disappointed.
So while I don’t advocate losing yourself in someone else, nor expecting perfection (it DOES NOT exist) I do believe that if the person you’re with doesn’t treat you as if your worthwhile or worth his/her time you’ll never have a healthy, happy relationship.
With that said *insert drum roll* here’s my list of things I hope to find in My Man (and yes I’ll now number them - they aren't in order just how they came to me):
- Funny – HAS to make me laugh
- Able to hold an intelligent conversation – beyond cars, sex & sports
- Ambitious – A go-getter is vital
- Confident – there’s nothing sexier…well….
- Smart – intelligence is a must
- Family Values – moral & social values are essential
- Respectful - *shakes a tambourine*
- Honest – please don’t lie to me
- Sexy – just the way he carries himself
- Witty – this is different from funny – he’s gotta be able to be quick and inventive
- Ability to Flex – has to be able to hang at a corporate function then roll to a dance
- Employed – oh yea has to have a J O B
- Loves me for who/as I am - Need I say more?
- Great Friends – his TRUE friends have to have substance
- Believes in God – No atheists need apply
- Supportive – has to have my back
- Sensitive yet firm – in touch w/his feelings but don’t want to be able to walk all over him
- Understanding – has to be able to relate
- Reassuring – Able to remove any doubts I have w/a look, touch or a word
- Stylish - gotta be able to put himself together
- Loving – words or actions
- Loves his mother/family – must be a family man
- Sensual – mmmhmmmm
- Makes me feel like I am the only one – even if this aint true I shouldn’t feel that way
- Able to have fun – not uptight
- Great Father – no absentee daddy round here (whether he has children or plans to must want to be in his child/children’s life)
- Trusting – must let me in and believe in me/us
- My Best friend – this is CRITICAL
- Gives back of his time – must be involved or willing to be involved in charity work
- Kind – being friendly/considerate of others is paramount
- Not a womanizer – this one bag of woman thing cannot work
- Great Kisser - #nuffsaid
- Calls me vs texting/bbm all the time – I want to hear his voice…nothing beats a call NOTHING!
- Mature – I can’t abide childish men
- Available – This has multiple meanings … main one being I want to feel he’s there for me
- Makes time for me – just make an effort to spend time with me
- Able to manage money – I suck at this lol
- Compliments me – the little things mean so much
- Crazy about me like I am crazy about him – the lopsided thing cannot work
- Never makes me feel like an afterthought – this is self explanatory
- Wants a family – has to want children
- Not afraid of commitment …. And makes the steps towards that – no friends with benefits
- Doesn’t expect perfection – accepts my flaws
- Doesn’t belittle me or others – Not cool to put me or others down
- Not abusive (verbally/physically/emotionally) – Big NO NO
- Loves animals – must love animals
- Finds me sexy – MUST have chemistry
- Not selfish – being self-absorbed is extremely unattractive
- Able to say he's sorry - the ability to admit he's wrong
- Not judgmental – you’re NOT God
- Has my back – right or wrong I want to know I can turn to him
- Is there for me as much as I am there for him – no relationship is truly 50/50 but I can’t always be giving and getting nothing in return
- Enjoys my company – I don’t want to feel like you’d rather be somewhere else
- Communication - Open & Honest. Don't take me for a fool... I'm a big girl
So that’s it… wow 53 huh? Well not sure what happens next after you make this list but I can’t wait to see!
Well it's October 25th and this weekend brought #54 to mind - see above....